Friday, January 23, 2009

Old Lady Car

I passed my driving test last year. Well done me. It only took 23 years and 2 passed written tests, 6 failed practical test and hundreds of hours of lessons. Immediately following my test I was too afraid to drive. After getting over that I was too afraid to drive in places I'd never been before. Now this is great if you live in a place you know but if, like me, you move to the city from the countryside and have road knowledge of about 2 square miles then you're a bit screwed for jolly sunday drives. Now I've mostly gotten over that I'm terrified of motorways, and quite right too - you're all maniacs. The idea of sitting in a little metal box hurtling along the tarmac at 70 miles an hour while everyone else tries to pass me so they can go 80 miles an hour fills me with a dread on par to standing on a cliff edge. I don't do that much either.

Tomorrow I'm travelling back to my home in the country and I've decided to drive. My husband, who from now on shall be known as the Adrenaline Junkie thinks it's very quaint that I'm going to drive my little old Cinquecento and totally avoid the motorway for 90 miles, when I could get into his comfortable modern car with electric seats and leather upholstery and speed along the motorway.

'Just like the olden days, ' says he, chuckling.
'Just like the olden days?'
The Adrenaline Junkie looks at me like I'm a barmy old aunt.
'Yes, you know, the olden days, when you could buy a round of drinks for a fiver.'
'Oh, THOSE olden days, the olden days where men never did the washing up because they were men?'

The Adrenaline Junkie (also known as He Who Avoids Washing Up at All Costs) shuffled out of the room without responding. In my dream where I win the Lottery, the Adrenaline Junkie always washes up, even when it's not his turn. I like this dream. I like it so much I haven't even thought about how much money I want to win.

No comments: