Snow (noun) White powder used by British workers to avoid actually working.
I donned my walking boots, daft hat and utterly unflattering bad weather jacket and braved the great outdoors. My bus took exactly three minutes longer than normal to get to work and yet 40% of our staff failed to arrive. Even if half or two-thirds of those were parents dealing with school closure there is still a significant number who opened the curtains, grinned and swiftly jumped back into bed for a duvet day. Goddamnit, I wish I'd thought of doing that.
Showing posts with label bus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bus. Show all posts
Monday, February 02, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Why is it SO HARD...?
...to communicate by telephone?
Today has been full. Awake at 6.15 Asleep by 6.16. Awake (and panicking) by 6.45. Got up to find that the Adrenaline Junkie had yet again failed in his milk and bread duties and for breakfast four of us we were to fight over four crumpets and half a pint of milk. Guess who got the tinned prunes? Thanks Junkie! Grumpy but with no time to waste I threw kisses at the anklebiters and almost made it to the door when the au pair realised she didn't remember where the paracetamol was. Hmm, breathe deeply, be pleasant. 'ohh they're here in the cupboard' (translates internally to 'I'm FRICKIN' LATE DIDN'T I FRICKIN TELL YOU ALREADY?'). I managed to get on the bus in time to sample 15 different colognes and perfumes and some other stuff we won't talk about when Grandma is present.
Work was ok. Work over. I've found a bus stop that allows me a seat on the bus before the hoards of exhausted people and that irritating cow with the phone get on and heeeeerrreeee we go
'Hi JUDIE, I'M JUST ARRANGING MY FABULOUS SOCIAL LIFE ON THIS BUS FULL OF TIRED PEOPLE USING MY FABULOUS MOBILE PHONE WITH FREE FACEBOOK, HEY DID YOU KNOW JULIAN'S STATUS IS SET TO 'FLYING LOW WITHOUT A LICENCE? ISN'T HE A KNOB'..ANYWAY ME'N'CLAAARREE WANNA GO TO PULL@BLAHBLAHBLAH'
Got home to find the fabulous casserole I'd lovingly prepared last night (instead of eating biscuits) had been put in the oven 30 minutes late and I was hungry enough to eat a scabby horse. Grumble about food, eat food, kiss kids.
Phone call from Adrenaline Junkie to say that 'we' have to do a very important letter for someone. The 'we' means that he harasses me when I'm knackered and I do it. Feel grumpy. Dash out to Doctors to find out why my head keeps feeling like it's going to burst. My bet is my blood pressure. He bet 'stress' Of course.
'Mrs Mrs is your job stressful?'
'Yes'
'Do you have a lot of responsibility at home or at work'
'Yes'
'Which?'
'Both'
'I think you're suffering from stress'
Oh really? Well done. I just TOLD YOU I HAVE STRESS, NOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BLOOD PRESSURE MORON. Like I say, stress. Anyway my blood pressure is not super high but much higher than normal and I feel ok tonight, not like my head's going to explode. So that's me buying a blood pressure monitor so I can obsess for a month or two.
Oh I forgot to say. I had a headache since 12pm. Now how is that right? I never moan about headaches at work. I try never to moan at work full stop. I hate moaning at work. My answer to moaning people at work is to buy cakes and make coffee. I can't help it, I'm a mum.
Straight from the quack and the Adrenaline Junkie is back on the phone. 'How did you get on?...oh good, well you have a quick relax eh and we'll do that letter'. OH MY GOOD GRIEF if he was not at the other end of the phone I do believe I may have kicked him very very very hard.
So it's now 7.35pm and I haven't stopped, haven't relaxed but that's ok cos I have a printout from my doctor about stress. It lists lots of symptoms of stress. I note that the symptom I went to the Doctor with is not amongst the list of symptoms. I get ANOTHER call from the Adrenaline Junkie who is obviously high on his own anxiety and unable to contain himself. I put the phone down on him and sit quietly. This lasts about five minutes before my innate guilt kicks in and I open the letter and start typing. 10.25 pm and I finish, have a sob and have a very grumpy phone call with the Adrenaline Junkie who is now relaxed because I've done the letter. Relaxed? I'm glad someone is.
Ohh I'm so glad I've shared. Did you have a nice day?
Today has been full. Awake at 6.15 Asleep by 6.16. Awake (and panicking) by 6.45. Got up to find that the Adrenaline Junkie had yet again failed in his milk and bread duties and for breakfast four of us we were to fight over four crumpets and half a pint of milk. Guess who got the tinned prunes? Thanks Junkie! Grumpy but with no time to waste I threw kisses at the anklebiters and almost made it to the door when the au pair realised she didn't remember where the paracetamol was. Hmm, breathe deeply, be pleasant. 'ohh they're here in the cupboard' (translates internally to 'I'm FRICKIN' LATE DIDN'T I FRICKIN TELL YOU ALREADY?'). I managed to get on the bus in time to sample 15 different colognes and perfumes and some other stuff we won't talk about when Grandma is present.
Work was ok. Work over. I've found a bus stop that allows me a seat on the bus before the hoards of exhausted people and that irritating cow with the phone get on and heeeeerrreeee we go
'Hi JUDIE, I'M JUST ARRANGING MY FABULOUS SOCIAL LIFE ON THIS BUS FULL OF TIRED PEOPLE USING MY FABULOUS MOBILE PHONE WITH FREE FACEBOOK, HEY DID YOU KNOW JULIAN'S STATUS IS SET TO 'FLYING LOW WITHOUT A LICENCE? ISN'T HE A KNOB'..ANYWAY ME'N'CLAAARREE WANNA GO TO PULL@BLAHBLAHBLAH'
Got home to find the fabulous casserole I'd lovingly prepared last night (instead of eating biscuits) had been put in the oven 30 minutes late and I was hungry enough to eat a scabby horse. Grumble about food, eat food, kiss kids.
Phone call from Adrenaline Junkie to say that 'we' have to do a very important letter for someone. The 'we' means that he harasses me when I'm knackered and I do it. Feel grumpy. Dash out to Doctors to find out why my head keeps feeling like it's going to burst. My bet is my blood pressure. He bet 'stress' Of course.
'Mrs Mrs is your job stressful?'
'Yes'
'Do you have a lot of responsibility at home or at work'
'Yes'
'Which?'
'Both'
'I think you're suffering from stress'
Oh really? Well done. I just TOLD YOU I HAVE STRESS, NOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BLOOD PRESSURE MORON. Like I say, stress. Anyway my blood pressure is not super high but much higher than normal and I feel ok tonight, not like my head's going to explode. So that's me buying a blood pressure monitor so I can obsess for a month or two.
Oh I forgot to say. I had a headache since 12pm. Now how is that right? I never moan about headaches at work. I try never to moan at work full stop. I hate moaning at work. My answer to moaning people at work is to buy cakes and make coffee. I can't help it, I'm a mum.
Straight from the quack and the Adrenaline Junkie is back on the phone. 'How did you get on?...oh good, well you have a quick relax eh and we'll do that letter'. OH MY GOOD GRIEF if he was not at the other end of the phone I do believe I may have kicked him very very very hard.
So it's now 7.35pm and I haven't stopped, haven't relaxed but that's ok cos I have a printout from my doctor about stress. It lists lots of symptoms of stress. I note that the symptom I went to the Doctor with is not amongst the list of symptoms. I get ANOTHER call from the Adrenaline Junkie who is obviously high on his own anxiety and unable to contain himself. I put the phone down on him and sit quietly. This lasts about five minutes before my innate guilt kicks in and I open the letter and start typing. 10.25 pm and I finish, have a sob and have a very grumpy phone call with the Adrenaline Junkie who is now relaxed because I've done the letter. Relaxed? I'm glad someone is.
Ohh I'm so glad I've shared. Did you have a nice day?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sometimes
Sometimes I don't want to be mum.
Tonight I want to stay up late, be irresponsible, not set the breakfast table or make the packed lunches. I don't want to put the dogs out or polish the shoes. I want to eat chocolate biscuits and watch a rubbishy movie. Unfortunately, regardless of what I do or don't do I still have to get up at 6.15am sort the kids out and get my chunky ass out of the house in time to pay for the privilege of sniffing someone's sweaty armpit whilst listing to their delightful tinny version of 'ooh lapa looma blanca' on the bus of doom. I occasionally take revenge by carrying my mug of coffee to work and dripping its contents surreptitiously onto the offender's shoes. It's my little bit of yang.
Tonight I want to stay up late, be irresponsible, not set the breakfast table or make the packed lunches. I don't want to put the dogs out or polish the shoes. I want to eat chocolate biscuits and watch a rubbishy movie. Unfortunately, regardless of what I do or don't do I still have to get up at 6.15am sort the kids out and get my chunky ass out of the house in time to pay for the privilege of sniffing someone's sweaty armpit whilst listing to their delightful tinny version of 'ooh lapa looma blanca' on the bus of doom. I occasionally take revenge by carrying my mug of coffee to work and dripping its contents surreptitiously onto the offender's shoes. It's my little bit of yang.
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